Friday, October 19, 2012

Write On Edge: Misinterpretation

Continuing with the same character from my last link up...I love having to chance to explore her personality through these link-ups.



His laugh was short and humorless.  “You’re out of your mind.  There’s no way – “  She held her breath when he paused – had he seen her?  Heard her?  She pressed her back closer against the wall, feeling the brick grabbing the back of her shirt and praying that the shadows were deep enough to keep her hidden.  “No, I can’t get it to you that fast.  Look, it’s imposs – “  He shook his head, glancing around, and lowered his voice when he answered.  “Do not threaten me.  You’ll get what you want, just give me – “  He muttered something under his breath as he slammed the phone closed.
He paused for a moment before flipping it back open and making a call.  “Yeah, it’s me.  Tonight…no, I know, but there’s no choice.  Two hours, like we planned.  Ditch anything that could give us away.”  He started walking further down the alley, a few steps closer to her.  She was sure her pounding heartbeat would give her away.  He was no more than ten feet away now.  He stopped next the dumpster and tossed the phone inside.  She watched him stand silently, tilting his head back toward the sky.  “What am I doing?” he mumbled.  He finally turned and walked slowly down the alley to the street.
She waited five minutes before she dared to step out the darkness and make her way back to her car.  So her suspicions were right – there was a leak in the department, and it was coming from her own team.
***
Two hours.  It wasn’t enough time, but he wasn’t about to let the past five years of work slip away.  He was finally about to bring in one of the city’s biggest drug lords.

9 comments:

  1. Oooh! I like it! That is a giant misunderstanding for sure! Great job on the prompt!

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  2. Good lord! I hope they don't accidentally shoot each other! I loved the detail of the brick grabbing her shirt, that feeling is so distinct.

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  3. Never trust anything witnessed in dark alleys...Nicely played!

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  4. I, too, liked the imagery of her pressed against the brick wall. Alleys always freak me out (in real life and in movies) so this setting certainly added to the tension of the half-sided conversation.

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  5. I agree with the strength of the imagery when she's against the brick wall. The idea of the brick grabbing her shirt, that snagging of materials together, that's really powerful and adds great tension to the scene.

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  6. Creative take on the prompt-great work! beebeesworld

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  7. Great job! I like the little twist in there. You have my attention...I can't wait to hear what happens next :)

    just a visiting author :)

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  8. Loved the suspense. Will he or won't he discover her hiding? It was a very creative take on this week's prompt. Thanks for sharing.

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  9. Oh, man. By the simplest things does everything fall apart...

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